And to PROVE herself worthy of commitment!Īdd to that, the wall approaches and I pointed this out to her today. I suggested she completely cut off contact with the beta orbiter, because he undermines her relationship with the Alpha and is a BIG reason things aren’t progressing to a commitment. Complex, I know!)Īnd so it goes round and round. (Ironically this is exactly what draws her in, if he was too available, he’d be a deta orbiter in her mind, and she’d likely seek another Alpha. But she isn’t sure… will he? Can she trust him? After all, he’s got “options” and has shown he’s willing to walk if needed. He’s told her he would marry her and take care of her in a minute, IF she knocks off the beta orbiter thing and adopts HIS frame. Meanwhile the Alpha remains just out of reach. The better “catch” imho, except despite me advising him not to be, he’s just too darn available! And that turns her off. He’s actually far better looking, far more interesting and intelligent, and so on as well. Before the unplanned (or was it?) pregnancy with Apha, I highly advocated she forget Alpha and go for the beta orbiter, who I believe is a far better bet if what she needs is a family man. Beta orbiter is a real steady Eddie, willing to watch her kids, pay for their dance lessons, pay her bills, the works. So she keeps the beta orbiter close by, in case Alpha bails. She really wants the Alpha, but he won’t fully commit to her (and maybe for good reason!) This leaves her feeling unsafe. (Life as a man is obviously risky as well, in a more direct way, by no means minimizing that.) Why? Life is historically precarious for a woman, especially a woman with small children, as her man may go off to war or off to hunt and never return. It’s an ancient female mindset, and a part of hypergamy, to always have a plan B, and C if needed. However her playing the fence is damaging the chances of relationship success with either suitor by the day. Both are intelligent, successful, and good looking guys. Short story, she’s been torn between two guys for several years: One is an Alpha who she chases, one is a beta who chases her. I feel for these guys involved, I truly do! I am just trying to explain the “why” of female behavior from the gal side, which may help men understand it better too, but please know I am NOT saying it is good or right gals do this. What I would advise the men in this situation, or what men would advise them, likely would be, “ Next!” And I get that. ( Male readers: Please keep in mind the following is examined from the FEMALE pov. You may recall I have written about Vixen, my former neighbor before, and an update, and her latest… Well this morning I talked to her and probed further to try and understand why the Alpha/beta orbiter thing, and by golly I think I may have struck a red pill goldmine! New data to fold in, in any case, hopefully.
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